Guest blog Time!
Stephen De Marino mans the island blog today as part of his spotlight week.
When the Island of Misfit Independents
invited me to write and to be a featured author, I was flattered beyond belief.
But what to write about? I hadn’t a clue. I know, silly for a writer to not
know what to write about. However, that’s me. So, I will go down that path,
that has been well trod, of writing about writing, and why I write. Oh yeah,
and I will have to write to do that, won’t I?
I am a misfit. Not the visible misfit, necessarily. I don’t have the large “freak
flag” showing that many misfits proudly wear. I am a camouflage misfit. I don’t
stand out, I fade into shadows, I blend in. Yet, people know instantly that I
am different, that I don’t fit into their preconceived notions of what they
think I am or might be, once they realize I am there.
I am a study in dichotomy and balance. I
write poetry, sappy sometimes, and I was a rugby player. I write paranormal
science fiction, I game, I enjoy nerdism, yet I coach football, like to lift
weights, and to most people come across as a “manly man.” I get identified as
an “alpha male” all the time, but I do not like dominance games, or to throw my
weight around for no reason. I can run a bar, keep control of a tense
situation, but screw up in one on one conversation all the time, and am
terrified of talking in front of people if I have no authority over them. I am
fiercely heterosexual, married with two children, I identify myself as a
Christian man, but I am a big proponent of gay marriage, and I believe that
other religions may very well have a path to God that will bring them to Him. I
choose to believe in a loving, encompassing world, I do my best to reject the
negative nastiness that is all around us. I know it is not real, but I work to
make it so. I try in all things to have a balance between strength and
softness. Between compassion and conviction, between hope and reality, between
run and pass, between description and dialogue, between intellect and interest,
between the light and the dark. It is not an easy line; it’s what makes me a
freak, is that I would even try to balance all these things.
My appearance does not help. I am a big
man, 300 pounds, with all the appearance of an aging ex-jock. Many people look
at my shaved head, and my tattoo, my size, and assume I am a judgmental
redneck-type. Others, who read my work, expect me to be some soft mushy guy who
lives with his mother and plays video games all day. I don’t live with my
mother, but I am a bit softer that I wish to be. But I still dance, I coach
football, I walk to work, I am somewhat active with my son and my job. Yes, I
have been prone to playing video games all day when I don’t have to work, and
don’t have the kids in the house. Yet, if I hadn’t knocked my head so many
times, I would probably still try to play rugby at least a few times a year
despite how much it hurts when I do. I shave my head, more out of convenience and
a fading vanity more than a political statement. I refuse to shave my goatee
off, for similar reasons. I seem to constantly surprise people, who look at me
and expect just another ex-jock, or older nerd, and try to limit me, and expect
limited conversation back. But I give them my best, I go in-depth on the
subject, I try to learn a little something from each of them, and occasionally
try to teach something back. Shocking, I know, right? Try to have an
intelligent conversation…sheesh, what am I thinking?
After listening to me ramble, here I am finally getting to the point! Be who
you are, don’t worry about whether or not anyone else accepts you. You are a
misfit or you wouldn’t be here. Think about the word…mis-fit. (As compared to
Mrs. Fit, that bitch you really hate at the gym or sport club.) You do not fit,
you are odd, unusual, strange in some way. That’s why you write, paint or sing.
These are our outlets, our way to express ourselves, to establish some control
over the weirdness and the pain that is our
lives. A way to declare ourselves, to try and find others like us. We do not
fit with most, so we try to find, through our art, be it word, song or image,
try to find others who can accept us, even if they are not like us. You may be
queer, you may be fat, you may be odd, or just plain. So long as you are
willing to cast aside your judgment of us, and accept us, we in turn will bring
you in, give you a place to be, a place to call your own. There is no hate
here, other than a hatred of being alone in a world where that is far too
common. Welcome to the Island. Try not to trip over all the square pegs.
Stephen
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